Funny birthday wishes – What to write in a birthday card

Are you looking for some funny birthday wishes to write in a birthday card? Then you have come to the right place! On this page you can find several suggestions. We hope they will give you a good laugh!

Funny birthday wishes – suggestions

Happy birthday to the new wrinkle on your face. Welcome to another set of grey hairs on your head.

Forget about the past, you cannot change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.

I know you had a lot of birthday wishes yesterday, but who is thinking of you today? Me, that’s who. Happy belated birthday.

If someone comes up with the idea to call you old, then hit him with your stick and throw him your teeth! Happy birthday!

Is it getting hotter in here, or is it just all the candles on your cake?

I saw the birthday fairy coming your way, and I knocked her ass out! I’ve always got your back, sister.

I am pretty sure that of all the birthday wishes you get today, mine will be the wishiest.

As you get older, three things happen. The first is, your memory goes…. and I can’t remember the other two.

Among all your birthday wishes, only a true friend would remind you that your mom dropped it like it was hot, many years and nine months ago.

Happy birthday! Smile while you still have teeth!

It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.

Happy birthday! May you live to be old and toothless.

Don’t worry. I am right here by your side to help you mourn the death of your youth. Happy birthday!

Age only matters if you’re cheese. Or wine. Or scotch.

At least you’re not as old as you will be next year!

Wishing you never-ending coffee, red tag sales and endless bottles of wine for your birthday, with no consequences to any of it.

Happy birthday. At our age, the only way to look younger is to add at least a decade to your age.

Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.

Happy birthday to someone who is old enough to remember what it was like to poop without a smartphone.

Better to be over the ground than over it.

May your Facebook wall be filled up with birthday wishes from people you’ve never met, haven’t seen in years, or genuinely couldn’t care less about.

Happy birthday to the one with the hottest, sexiest and best friend ever! Just joking, you are hot too! Have a great day!

Don’t bother taking life too seriously. At your age, no one will take you seriously anyways. Happy birthday!

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. Happy birthday!

If I’d known you were going to live this long, I wouldn’t have given you that expensive gift last year. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday, sweetheart. Don’t worry, today you don’t have to wash any dishes. They will still be there tomorrow.

So many candles… so little cake..

Remember when 50 seemed old? If you weren’t so old, you would!

Birthday special! 20% off your actual age if I am asked how old you are. One day special!

I almost sent you a real birthday card, but thankfully my internet connection came back.

Happy birthday! I guess we’ve reached the age when every compliment we get is typically accompanied by “for someone your age”.

You know you are getting old when you walk up the stairs and call it exercise.

The older the fiddle, the sweeter the tune.

Happy birthday. Don’t be depressed at the fact that you’re on your way to becoming a senior citizen. The older you are, the better the seats you will get in the bus.

May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.

Do you know of any other funny birthday wishes? Let us know by using by writing a comment in the form below.

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